Daytime

8:00 Wake up, panting because I believe I am late. I am not, since I am working from home today. Roll over, think I see a bedbug, scramble for glasses. It is fuzz.

10:30: Bagel, coffee.

12:03 I wish I didn't have all that coffee. My body is all a-jangle, but my eyes are still tired.

1:45 I would like to name a pet Noisette.

1:19 AM: How am I still working on the same thing I worked on all day? How does it happen that I'm not even halfway through?

It's a shame I don't understand myself. I'm not lazy; I'm not merely unfocused.

It's a shame that people, generally, lack insight into their own behaviors. I did all this research in college about memory, and how it goes wrong, and now I see it every day in court.

I hope I'm telepathically passing that knowledge on to the people who matter. Guys, I'll say without words, She doesn't know. She didn't think about it when it happened, she hasn't thought about it since, and now she's been interviewed a thousand times by people who are leading her into traps. There's no way this is reliable!

Many people have spoken at, near, or to me this week. More than usual.

Earlier this evening I covered my face, jawline, neck, ears in green eyeshadow. It was so light, I forgot about that until just now. It wasn't like wearing makeup at all. I do look like a shimmery alien. It wasn't like that waxy facepaint, but like butterfly dust. You could see the flush of skin underneath, and since I had put it on like regular makeup - more in the crease of the eye, more on the cheekbones, the temples - there was some depth. The application was so relaxing! Ten minutes playing with a puffy brush and I was brand new.

I want to go out like that. It could be commentary: Women do this every day. Today I did it in lime green. It's no more or less ridiculous, you just noticed it today. I bet if I did it really light, people wouldn't even notice. Oh, I am going to do this and embarrass my friends.